Video Music Awards: A Drinking Game

Drink every time you feel too old watching the VMAS …

Am I too old for the VMAs? Sadly, I think the answer is yes, but I LIVE for an award show (even a stupid one like this) so I had to watch. I mean, my childhood is basically a VMA montage …

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So let’s start counting the draaaaaanks:

I didn’t start out the show drinking because I DO know who Kendrick Lamar is and I love him. My husband recently bought his album and it has become our “dinner prep” go to music. I mean, you really get fired up to cook a meal when Kendrick is playing. I also thought his stage setup was LIT (ahhhh hahahahahaha ha ha ….ha whew). 

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Still no drink yet because Ed Sheeran was up next (who I LOVE!). I really liked seeing him with a band because if you’re an Ed fan, you know he usually plays solo. I also know “Shape of You” is super overplayed on the radio currently, but I really enjoyed hearing it played live.

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Sooo some pierced up guy came out and all I was thinking was, “Who is this person with Ed??? Is Ed signing his song?” Confused. 

Katy Perry came out next because she was hosting. I know KP and have even seen her in concert, so no drink here although I think I may have needed one because her jokes SUCKED! Anyone see Ellen’s face during Katy’s “jokes?” She wasn’t having it and neither was I!

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Yay Fifth Harmony won an award! They cute; love them!

Hold. The. Phone! Up next was the entire reason I wanted to watch the VMAs in the first place, and I’m SO GLAD they put it toward the beginning of the show … THE NEW T SWIFT VIDEO! If you’re not a Swift fan, then scroll down a bit because I’m probs going to be spending a bit of time dissecting her video.

The good:

First off, she looked AMAZING! I love that she incorporated snakes (after being called one time & time again) and THE SNAKES THEN SERVED HER TEA!!!!???? I loved her choreography and the I Heart TS shirts (which you can purchase here!) the dancers wore! But, my favorite favorite part of the whole video was the end where she totally spoofed past “characters” of herself such as Surprised Taylor and I Want to Remove Myself from This Narrative Taylor.

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The Confusing: 

I’ve gone back and forth on her message with the song and video. I really hope she’s not completely saying goodbye to her good girl image, but instead is telling the world these are the things you can make fun of me for, but guess what? I’m already aware of them so joke is on you.

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The Bad:

SO many people weren’t here for the video or the song (except maybe, Spencer Pratt??). Many are saying that Taylor loves to make everyone aware of the fact that we should feel sorry for her or that everyone should feel the need to be Team Taylor. Maybe that is the case here. Or maybe  she’s gone fully loco and has killed off her old self and is now just a crazy person. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think of feel!” 

The last thing I will say regarding the video and song is go add Spencer Pratt on Snapchat. Just do it.

Moving on…

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Before we get to Lorde, I want to mention that Shawn Mendes is the absolute CUTEST plus HAS REAL TALENT!! I want to go see him in concert.

Now Lorde …

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I know who Lorde is, but I took a drink anyway at this point because her performance was so! weird! I know she apparently had the flu so maybe she couldn’t sing, buuuuuut what was the strange dance she did along with that outfit? My bestie even text me during it and said, “Okay is it just me or does this show get weirder and weirder every year?!?!?”

It’s not just you girl!

Guess what came next?!

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Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy came on with some girl I didn’t know but then figured out was the girl from that one Kanye video I can’t remember the name of & I can’t remember what her name was and why was she acting so strange??

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Anyway, Fifth Harmony came back on at this point in the show to perform and again, I just freaking love them! Who caught the shaaaade thrown at Camila??

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Miley Cyrus was up next and it was a veeeeery different VMA Miley than we’re used to. I thought she sounded amazing; I’m just not a fan of this new song of hers.

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Who was the werido with Pete Davidson?

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Wait, now who just introduced Demi?? Did she almost have a nip slip?? Is she drunk too??

Watched Demi; love her and love that song; I just thought the pool party scene was strange.

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At this point in the show, I switched over to Game of Thrones (post coming soon; while you wait, recap here!). I heard Pink gave a great performance and speech, which I’ll probably go back and look up online. I think 30 Seconds to Mars performed, which I would have liked to see, if only for Jared Leto because I really only think of him from movies. Katy Perry performed, but seeing how the night had gone with her, I continued to care less. Oh, and they gave out some awards. Cool.

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Depending on how you counted, I think that was between seven and nine drinks. Look, the Video Music Awards aren’t a bad show, but they just aren’t what they used to be. Everything seems like it has to be a spectacle or drama or top news story the next day, when maybe all I wanted was a great performance or two and musicians getting recognized for good music, I mean music videos ??

Wait, who even watches music videos anymore?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Paradise Picks

I spent FOUR HOURS of my life last night getting caught up on Paradise. (okay, okay, it was on my dvr so I skipped commercials but still!). Also, how annoying is it that we’ve had eight hours worth of BIP (four last week and four this week) and have only seen ONE ROSE CEREMONY?!

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Get it together ABC.

However, from those eight hours we’ve learned Taylor and Derek seem pretty great together, plus Amanda and Robby are slowing forming into something (which now we know is real). Diggy and Dominique seemed to have a pleasant date and may be the start of a new couple, along with Sarah and Adam, plus Dean and Danielle. I think those are all of the established couples or couples starting to melt into something. But what if, just what if, I had Paradise go my way?!

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Proud of you if you get this reference…

Here are the couples I’d prefer sprout and blossom this season…

Alexis & Jasmine: 

Girl power! Seriously, the hot tub scene with the two of them was probably the only thing I really liked from the past two episodes. I love and appreciate their friendship! They are also truly funny, especially when they had their Australian accents and were narrating Paradise as if it were a nature show (which let’s be honest, it kind of is!)

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Get me in this girl gang ASAP!

Danielle M. & Wells:

I think we can all agree while they may not be the most drama filled, Danielle and Wells are two of the best people on the show. I’m talking genuine, good, people. Who knew they were actually friends from years back? And, while it may just have been for production purposes to ship them, I was all for it. Also, on Danielle’s Instastory this week, she was hanging out with Wells, Taylor, & Derek. #doubledate ??

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Adopt me

Kristina & Dean: 

I agree with all of you that Dean is an awful person for basically ditching Kristina after they returned from “The Shutdown.” I agree that in the real world Kristina is too good for Dean and I don’t want them together. However, that doesn’t mean I wish it never happened. I thought Dean and Kristina were good together (before Dean got all douchey); they had hard childhoods and could understand one another on that level. I thought they looked super cute together as well. Sigh. RIP #Kean (Destina?)

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It was good while it lasted …

Raven & Ben Z:

I don’t really have strong, strong reasonings as to why I like these two together, besides the simple fact they seem down-to-earth, genuine people. I didn’t watch Ben Z’s season but I did see Raven’s and learned she needs good dude. Let’s be honest too, Ben Z got a bad edit regarding his dog. Or maybe I just ship them because I simply think they look good beside one another?

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Sarah & Adam:

Originally I wanted Raven with Adam. I don’t think Adam got enough air time on Rachel’s season; he legit seems great. However, he appeared to drop Raven pretty darn fast once Sarah asked him out. I don’t know you that well Sarah and I’m sure you’re nice, but no one can be better than my girl Raven. Bad move Adam. Also, aren’t Sarah and Raven pretty dece friends? If so, kind of lame that Sarah went after a dude that just went on a date with her good friend. HOWEVER, if I must play devil’s advocate (which I hate to do) it seemed like Sarah and Adam already had a history of attraction from “The Shutdown” so it seems fair that Raven understood (and should just date Ben Z).

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Amanda Stanton: 

Go home to your kids. It didn’t work out last time and it won’t work this time. I’m trying really hard not to hate, but just go home. 

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It didn’t work then; it won’t work now

Danielle L. & Robby:

First, I’m probs a bit salty that Danielle took Dean away from Kristina (maybe the word took is too strong but I’m using it). However, Danielle and Robby just seem like pretty people. You know the people I’m talking about (Raven even described him this way last week) who have every hair in place, polished outfits head to toe, and seem like the model type. I’m not saying others on the show aren’t GORG but they don’t appear to also be, well, high maintenance, which sadly is exactly how Danielle and Robby appear and why I ship them. 

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Lacey & Jack Stone:

These two would be perfect for one another because no one else really wants to date them. I don’t mean this negatively at all but you know how people say things like, “There’s someone for everyone” ?? Welllllllll, I think maybe that applies to these two getting together; they just don’t know it yet, and thank goodness I’m here to let them know! 

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          (Look at the way she looks at him!)

So who’s left?

Diggy, Dominiquie, and Matt I think. I guess I’m cool with Dominiquie getting with either dude. She seemed to have a good date with Diggy, but Matt doesn’t seem like a terrible person either. Am I missing someone? If I am, a) I’m sorry to that person but b) you aren’t that great if I’ve easily forgotten you. 

Sadly though, I’m not sure many of these couples (okay, any of these couples) will develop. Ah, a girl can dream right?? Who do YOU ship in Paradise?? Find me on social media and let’s debate/discuss/dive into it! 

Thanks for all the support!! 

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I’ve got some GOT feels! Game of Thrones Recap: 7×5

Someone cue Justin Timberlake because I’ve GOT some feelings about the most recent Game of Thrones episode, “Eastwatch.”

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(Also, see what I did there, eh? eh?) Okay, let’s get into it…

Pretty annoyed that for a week we all had to speculate whether or not Jamie was alive (even though you were stupid if you thought they’d kill him off that way), only to find out in the very first scene he lived. Oh and now he has to go run and tell his bitch controlling sister what happened…

Current Emotion:

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Also, are we to believe Dany when she says she’s nothing like Cersei, yet uses fear (aka her dragon) to force the Lannister army to “bend the knee?” IDK about you, but myself (and I’ve heard from others) are worried Daenerys is starting to lose it a bit and become more of a power hungry tyrant (like another blonde in the show) rather than someone who wants to save mankind (I think Tyrion thinks this as well; great minds, am I right?!). Wasn’t too sad to see the Tarly men die (#teamsam). Lastly, anyone else think the dragons are super well behaved? I mean I can barely get my seven pound maltese to sit or stay, yet Drogon just chilled the entire time while Dany gave her speech and then the signal to bbq the Tarlys (Tarlies?).

Current Emotion:

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My feelings on Cersei and her whole, “So we fight and die or submit and die; I KNOW MY CHOICE, ” are …. I DON’T CARE! (And you’re stupid, Dany has three dragons; listen to your brother/lover … yuck).

Current Emotion:

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Sooo my husband totally had to make the connection for me that Drogon let Jon “pet” him because DUH JON HAS FREAKING TARGARYEN BLOOD IN HIM! However, I don’t think Daenerys picked up on this (do you? Tweet me, let’s start a chat!) ??
Jon and Dany: talk talk talk; when are you going to get your incest on because we can alllllll feel that sexual tension!
Lastly, remember my math equation from “I’ve Brought Fire & Ice Together” GOT 7×3 Recap ?? Jorah returns and will hopefully tell Jon Snow it was Sam who cured him!

Current Emotion (for so many reasons here!):

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Ugh, stupid Bran and his stupid ravens. Wait, did those birds just explode or did they fly away? Also, how is the Night King able to understand and see what Bran is doing? I really hope Bran didn’t fuck something up majorly for the future of the humans by his interaction with the White Walkers and the Night King, but knowing stupid Bran, he probs did.

Current Emoji:

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Skipping the Maesters and Sam for a bit (because honestly I don’t see them believing Sam at this point), we have to talk about Tyrion “I’m her hand, not her head” Lannister. I don’t see why he has to have this secret discussion about Daenerys with Varys, acting all worried about her and the need to “get her under control.” Is this just because she burned the Tarlys (Tarlies?) alive? Do we really care? Also, his plan to capture a White Walker, and then transport it to Cersei to prove this threat is real, hoping the Cersei/Dany war should hit pause? DUMBEST IDEA EVER! Oh and to make it even worse, Jon and Jorah are going to be part of the group to do this! Cool!

Current Emotion:

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Love, love, love seeing Arya and Sansa back together (especially because Maisie and Sophie are BFFs in real life), but we’ll get back to them in a second. Oh and Sansa, I don’t think you’re selfish. No worries girl.

Besides that sister reunion, we’re about to have a bro reunion because Tyrion is getting smuggled into King’s Landing with Davos’s help:

“Last time I was here, I killed my father with a crossbow.”

“Last time I was here, you killed my son with wildfire.”

Honestly I Was SUPES nervous about Tyrion being in KL, but Bronn was faithful and brought Jamie to him (or him to Jamie; IDK Bronn just brought them together). The whole thing was pretty ominous with the dragon skulls around, especially since Tyrion is on the dragon queen’s side, and Jamie’s entire army basically got taken out by a dragon.  I was pumped it seemed to go okay, even though Jamie was pissed Tyrion killed their dad (he deserved it though). But what got me REALLY PUMPED?! GENDRY IS BACK!

Current Emotion:

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Seems like Cersei has definitely changed her tune (in one episode) from “We fight and die” to slowing it down and strategizing a bit more because SHE’S FREAKING PREGGERS! Jamie doesn’t want people to know it’s his but Cersei is all “I’m the queen!” I don’t think the baby will make it to the world for one of two possible reasons: A) Cersei will get killed before the baby can be born (oh please!) or B) She loses it. Either way, I’m SO OVER the incest and the two of them!

Current Emotion:

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I really like the Jon and Gendry banter when they meet; their fathers were best friends! Also, is Gendry going to mine dragon glass to help fight the WW just like he mined Valyrian Steel??!?!??! So, yes that makes me happy.  You know what else makes me happy? WE FIND OUT THAT JON IS LINE FOR THE THRONE BEFORE DANY! (Thanks Gilly!) I’m also really proud of Sam for getting the heck out of there and going to help Jon (at least that’s where I assume he’s going).
“I’m tired of reading about the achievements of better men”

Current Emotion:

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UGH! Little Finger! UGH ROLL MY EYES INTO THE BACK OF MY HEAD! I was really upset by all of this until I listened to my GOT podcasts (shout out to The Morning Breath and Cast of Kings!) and found out the history of that message. Plus, if Arya is stupid enough to believe it, she deserves to die (okay maybe not die, but …I don’t know, a few days without breakfast or something).

Current Emotion:

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Last scene: Jon, The Hound, Jorah, Gendry, those weird Brotherhood people, the Wildlings (am I forgetting anyone?) are off to capture a White Walker.

I’m going to leave you with just a few quotes:
“Here we all are, on the edge of the world.” – the show
“We’re all on the same side”    “How can we be?”    “We’re all breathing” – the show
“It’s just an interesting group of people” – my husband

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Final Emotion:

Fuck.

RHONY Reunion Recap: It’s (mostly) about Tom.

I also have so many questions…

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Much like my Southern Charm Reunion posts, I have a few questions for the ladies of NYC based off Wednesday’s part one reunion. Like, do you all say Ra-hon-ie like we do? Or, seriously Andy why DO you always come for Bethenny regarding Jill Zarin? Speaking of B, where can I get the “Get off my jock” shirt that’s in your Twitter banner?

Okay, maybe those aren’t the most important questions to ask, so…

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Ramona:

How did it feel to have the girls come for you right out of the gate? Do you really agree that you acted like a shitty person this year? Or, was that whole “I don’t know why I act this way; I wouldn’t be friends with that person” just an act? I mean Bethenny literally called you a horror show; are you?! I mean, your face was in Mexico, but are you a horror show of a person? Speaking of your Mexico face,  how did you show yourself again after that monstrosity? Lastly, is the guy you spoke about on the reunion still with you after your ugly behavior (and face) this season?

Sonja:

Girl, are you truly, finally over Dorinda not inviting you to the Berkshires? I understand you have a hard time letting go (#i’vehadloversforyears), but seeing how you got along with Dorinda towards the end of the season, I really think it’s time to put the Berks to bed! Also, how did you feel when Dorinda came for you those first few episodes; it couldn’t have felt good. While appearing to be cool as a cucumber about all of it (and fingers crossed to really being over the Berkshires), were you that cool about the press? Come on, you can tell us! On a scale of dry mouth to lost in the desert, how thirsty were/are you for Page Six to write about you?sonja

Dorinda:

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BUTTERFLY DRESS? Loving loving loving it! I already asked Ramona about her bad behavior, but I must ask you now: how excited were you for Andy to bring up the fact that Ramona defaced your house? I don’t feel this got the attention (via show or reunion) it deserved. I also already asked Sonja about her hurt Berkshire feelings, but I must ask you now: are you two finally in a good place? I mean I’m down for you to come for her again because it’s so entertaining, but I also would love for my two favorites to be in a good place.

Carole:

Love ya, but why are you even there?

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Tinsley:

I have one question and one question only. Da f*** with that dress?!

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Bethenny:

I already covered it with her up above, but do you regret calling Ramona a horror show? Was it a bit harsh…? Also, when you cried to Lu earlier in the season, I mean, did you ever get your “I told you so” moment or does asking that cross the line? Lastly, is the common man able to book a trip to Tequila, Mexico or is that just a Skinnygirl thing (because I am SO DOWN to travel there!) ?

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(Okay honestly, once I came across this picture there was NO WAY I was going to post something else!)

Luann:

Obviously the first question I have to ask is how hard was filming this knowing your marriage was falling apart (literally filing for divorce three weeks later; thanks black screen prior to starting the show)? Are the women treating you different or is everyone saying “I told you so?” I mean, Bethenny CRIED to you, basically pleading with you not to marry Tom, yet you did? Have you apologized to her? In reality, she was trying to save you from all of this….? #thinkaboutit

I’m really shocked Tom got brought up so early in the reunion; was he brought up this early in filming it as well? I also don’t have words finding out it was Tom’s first marriage! Knowing everything you knew prior, did you really think you would be able to change him? Really, truly? Or, were you just blinded by love? I don’t find you to be that naive, Lu.  How are your children handling everything? Even with all my harsh questions, I really do wish the best for you Lu! As all the bloggers, tweeters, podcasters, and fans of the show have said, WE ARE READY FOR SINGLE LU!!

 

Hopefully next week will answer my questions rather than leave me with more.

The one thing that I have zero question about is that RHONY is my absolute favorite franchise! 

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Bachelor in Paradise: First Impressions

First impressions are important correct? I mean “You never get a second chance to make a first impression,” am I right? So, with that being said, I thought I would share my first impressions of this season’s Bachelor in Paradise. This is solely based on the days prior to the Corinne/DeMario scandal (or for those of you hardcore followers, just the premier episode), so enjoy reading tonight as you watch alongside night two!

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The first person to arrive in Paradise was Raven. Before we start with her I have to say, I adored Raven during Nick’s season. I was hoping she would win for her happiness, but I was also hoping she would lose so she’d become the next Bachelorette (and because we really didn’t want her to end up with Nick once we sat and thought about it did we?). However, when I started following her on social media leading up to Paradise, I learned she may be a little too “party hardy” bordering on ratchet. Last night though made me realize I was SO wrong about her (cue her thoughts on dating Robby), plus, SO WHAT if she’s ratchet!? Whatever word you use to describe her, the number one word you should be using is the BEST! 

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Already crowning her Queen of (this season of) Paradise!

Next, Dean shows up and you have a brief  hope it will be Dean and Raven riding off into the sunset together, until you see Kristina show up. If you read spoilers (and why are you reading my blog if you didn’t read Paradise spoilers??) you know Dean and Kristina will soon become an item. #firstdatecard

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Danielle M. is after Kristina. First impression is that she’s a bit forgettable from Nick’s season buuuuuuut looking more gorg than ever! Let’s see….next up is Ben Z. I didn’t watch his season so I don’t know much about him, but my first impression is that he got a bad edit in which he was made to look OBSESSED with his dog (or dogs in general). Next is Iggy, from Rachel’s season, annnnnd he gave me a total frat move first impression into Paradise. Like, are you there to find love or frat out with your boys?

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Jasmine enters next and I don’t really have an exaaaact first impression thought on her, except she kisses one forgettable dude and then goes on a date another forgettable dude. If you’re like me, what you’re waiting for from Jasmine is the whole, “You want good TV ABC? Oh I’ll give you good TV!”

Jack Stone enters next and he’s still as creepy as ever. After Jack the Ripper, Queen Alexis shows up … full shark-dolphin costume! First impression? “It’s hot as balls!”

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I freaking love her!

Cue DeMario coming down the steps next. All the girls are SO PISSED at him and really not there for him (if they only knew what more was to come…). After DRAMArio, Derek from Jojo’s season shows up. Remember him? “The only who cried.” First impression: were his ears always that big? Oh well, he’s still cute and sweet.

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Next up is Shortie McShortFace and this year’s Paradise commentator, Alex. First impression: let’s move on to … CORN! Corinne in the house!!

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She literally brings Chris a glass of champagne (which he won’t let her take into to Paradise; ruuuuude!) Who loved her comments like “You have to work hard” to win me this year or the fact that she wasn’t going to “settle” for love?

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Some more people came like Vinny from last season (first impression: he won’t get a rose night one), Amanda from last season (go back home to your kids) and Robby (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS FACE?!). Oh our favorite bartender Jorge also left and was replaced with Wells (which again, spoilers, we knew was coming, but I think was a totally weird move by ABC).

Just realized Taylor from Nick’s season showed up as well (and maybe someone else who isn’t that important to remember …?)

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#sorrynotsorry

Beyond just the people, what were our first impression of the dates?

Kristina and Dean: Friggin’ adorbs (until he breaks her heart down the road…)

Jasmine and Matt: Awkward? Stupid? Cute? I don’t really know or care.

Raven and Robby: Seriously the best date ever (and that’s only because of Raven’s comments upon returning!)

Corinne and DeMario: Okay, I know they technically didn’t go on a date, buuuut they were fine at breakfast the next day; everything seemed chill. We better find out what actually happened!

Overall first impressions for this season??

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I’m here for the entertainment!!! (#teamraven!!) 

(and off to waste two more hours of my life watching tonight’s episode!!)

 

“Our Stories Aren’t Over Yet” GOT Recap 7×4

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The Stark siblings reunite and Daenerys goes HAM!

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I have been trying all week to figure out my emotions regarding this episode and I don’t have a clue where to begin. Typically I can dissect a scene and put an emoji that matches the feels I had watching. I started writing this week’s post in that format and it was just not coming together. Like, yes I was happy the Stark siblings reunited and the Arya/Brienne “training” sequence was amazing! I was also on the edge of my seat thinking something would go down between Jon and Dany in that cave while they were viewing 1st grade drawings. But, and I think we’re all in agreeance, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the final scene (I believe we’re calling it The Loot Train Attack?) and really that’s all I wanted to discuss in this post.
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So once I decided I would just cover the end of the episode, I was thinking how I was even going to put it all into words; I just couldn’t. All I kept typing was something like, “As I sat and watched Daenerys take Drogon and fireball the Lannister army, I kept screaming the F word at every twist and turn.” How could I turn one quote into a post? Well after pondering an entire week how I was going to cover episode four, I decided to just share my show notes and then attempt to explain them. See below.

Wait, what? Dany just left? Ugh, I wish she was off to go smoke out Jamie’s army! You won’t kill civilians that way.

Little did I know….

Oh no what is about to go down!!!!!??????? Dany on a dragon? The Dothraki?! Yep it’s the Dothraki! Dany is taking things into her own hands! These are not trained soldiers! DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON!!! SHE’S FLYING IT!!!!!

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Oh shit she is actually smoking them out! She did it she did it she did it! Charred body; clash clash clash; no holding of THAT line!

Here is where I proceeded to watch through my fingers because a) I don’t like gore or watching bodies burn like the 4th of July and 2) I just generally get nervous in a battle scene that something crazy will happen or one of my favs will die. It’s how I’ve watched for seven seasons now.

Slit throats shit shit! Now their trying to shoot arrows at the dragon. No go. Jamie seeing all of this means he HAS to want to kill Cersei now, right?

Because Cersei brought all of this destruction down on her army, or maybe she didn’t and Daenerys is power hungry, but I feel better blaming Cersei.

Jamie’s going to fight now!

This was the moment I forgot I am supposed to breathe….

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Oh fucky they have that big cannon thing to go at the dragon! Shit shit shit shit and more shit! Tyrion is watching. Oh, and there goes supplies! Ash on ash on ash.

Then that was the moment I stopped taking notes and just watched because I was terrified Drogon was going to die or Jamie was going to die or everyone was going to die. Then the show ended.  It was probably good timing because I couldn’t take much more.

Questions we still have:
How will Cersei respond?
Is Jamie dead?
Is Bronn dead?
What is Daenerys’s next move?
How can there only be three episodes left????

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Oh, and for all our sake, let’s hope tonight’s episode is dialogue heavy; I can’t forget to stop breathing again.

Siesta Key: Do we like these people?!

castIn September 2004, I was a sophomore in high school obsessed with MTV. I watched Real World, Road Rules, and The Challenge all day long. When Laguna Beach premiered that fall, I remember thinking it was a show about high school and people who were just like me (except prettier and more rich). Instant hit. Instantly obsessed. I mean, I even own the first two seasons on DVD. (I’m also a reg LC by Lauren Conrad for Kohls shopper).

So this summer, MTV jumped on the nostalgia bandwagon and brought back a Laguna-type show set on the opposite coast and starring college-aged kids instead of high schoolers (because we need to see them legally drink this go around). Enter Siesta Key. With only being two episodes in, I have so many thoughts.

Alex:

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Okay this guy sucks. Before I even mention why, please take a moment and read the incident he was involved in regarding a shark or as many are calling it … animal abuse. Here is the evidence stacked against Alex:
1) He’s not attractive — if anyone should be the male “face” of the show, it should be Garrett.
2) He’s a spoiled brat – did you see the house he lives in? He drives his boat up to the shore bar? His dad paid for the pilot of the show which was basically this huge party at his house? Also, does anyone remember how Stephen worked at the surf shop in Laguna and wasn’t just handed everything from his wealthy family?
3) He is a male whore and has zero respect for women …. which brings me to my next point ….

Madison & Juliette:

I’m disgusted at the way Alex treats these two girls. I would be okay with Madison being his high school girlfriend and them being there for each other during that period of their lives. #firstlove But, she still loves him while simply he strings her along.

I’d also be okay with Juliette being the girl Alex dates in his 20’s, takes to parties, and has an overall good time with. But, he won’t commit to her and also strings her along as well.

The problem is he won’t decide who he wants to be with and these two are dumb enough to go along with it. I think both of them are so beautiful (and seem overall put together) so freaking team up, find two different hot guys to date, become best friends, and drop Alex’s gross ass ASAP! #girlpower

Chloe & Amanda:

Here are two more girls acting dumb over a boy, only this time it got physical because Amanda clocked Chloe in the face in the last episode. Everyone is trying to say Chloe deserved it because she runs her mouth and possibly pushed Amanda first, but I see no evidence of that (I know she screamed at Alex but he deserved it). Also, so what if Chloe ran her mouth, you NEVER put your hands on people. More than that, these two need to team up with Juliette and Madison in some sort of female empowerment group. Maybe the four of them could go volunteer a weekend for Girls on the Run or something and learn a thing or two about self-worth and stupid boys.

Kelsey:

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Finally a female on this show who appears to have it all together. Kelsey seems really sweet, is from the Midwest (holla!), is dating the hottest guy on the show who is also not a douche, and works an actual job; she doesn’t just get handed money from her family. Let’s also not forget the most important reason she’s the best and that’s because she moved to Siesta Key to help take care of her sick mother.

However, MTV won’t let solid people stay solid on a show like this and will probably cause Kelsey to have a downfall. I’ll give you two guesses as to who will probably be involved in this?

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However, Kelsey did say something in the last episode about how Alex needs to grow up and is the way he is because his parents just hand over money to him. Please stay this way and stay with Garrett! Speaking of…

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If I have to play devil’s advocate, I realize Laguna Beach brought about catfights over boys as well. Let’s see, there was Lauren and Kristin over Stephen, Jessica and Alex over Jason, then Jessica and Lauren over Jason, and probably more than that. But, in the world of social media and low self-esteem, I think it would be smarter for MTV to promote that females can be strong and dudes can be shitty. But where is the entertainment in that?

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So the question first asked was if we like these people, the new cast, the east coast Laguna kids? It kind of seems like the answer is no.

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But I think I should probably give it a few more episodes. Plus, MTV is trying so hard. And, even if I’m not personally invested in any of them like I was Lauren, Kristin, Talen, and Stephen, I’m sure their misery will lead to my entertainment, which will make me continue to watch.

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The Bachelorette: We have an engagement!

“Here’s to making hard decisions in the hopes of getting what we want.”

timelie.pngAs I  began to close the chapter on Rachel’s season of The Bachelorette, I found myself unable to put together coherent paragraphs because my emotions went from zero to sixty while watching. I will say it was probably zero for two hours and then hit it sixty once Rachel hit Peter (you all know what I’m talking about).

To help myself write this epic post, I kept notes and as I was looking back over them, I decided to just leave my thoughts be, which you can review below, compare to your own thoughts, and then find me to discuss! #socialmedia

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7:05 — Okay! Here we go! Hmmm, I’m not sure what to think about Rachel doing this play by play with CH; do you think he is losing his flair and they have to bring Rachel out to co-host?
7:15 — Give iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin to Peter; who cares if you don’t get a proposal?
7:17 — Just read Reality Steve and he’s saying she picked Bryan. Ugh.  Also, did Peter just say “super cute?” Aww that’s super cute that he said that! 
7:22 — The cheeeeeese of them looking at each other through the windows the morning after.
7:24 — Lightbulb: This is the first time I don’t mind if Bryan wins; like, isn’t he someone who she’s been drawn to from the very beginning? And honestly, I don’t want to dis Rachel but if that is the person for her, then just pick him & have a failed engagement (and I can’t really believe I just typed that). 

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7:28 — I’m kind of bored hearing Rachel talking to CH.
7:35 — My internet just went out.
7:48 — Officially convinced Peter is leaving —
               KNEW IT WOULD BE THESE TWO AT THE END!
               Poor little Eric
Oh man Eric is a gem … A GEM!

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8:00–It’s getting really hard to watch this show knowing I can’t get on Twitter and see what people are saying … and I still have two more hours to go!

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(I owe that joke to @lucyo21; can’t take credit that I came up with it on my own)

Also, we must note: Eric saying he came into this a boy and left a man …yes you did
8:21 — Internet is back up!
8:24 — Rachel sitting there looks as bored as we all feel. She even went “Yeeeeeah” when asked if she’s enjoying this.
8:27 — Peter and Rachel at a church
8:31 — Wine nights and paintings? That’s cute! Also, multiple proposals is the same as multiple marriages and I think that’s fair. I think everything Peter is saying is fair and Rachel is giving him an ultimatum and it’s beyond annoying. Just pick Bryan already.
8:39 — HOW IS WHAT HE SAID CONFUSING?! Yes, you fantasize together when you’re dating, when you’re cultivating a relationship, you’re the one skipping steps Rachel!

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Stand your ground Peter! Don’t let her sway you; stay true to you!

8:48 “I’m going against what I believe to show you that I care about you so much that I will not lose you.” HE’S GIVING YOU WHAT YOU WANT AND NOW YOU ARE SAYING NO?!

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8:50: “Go find someone you’ll have a mediocre life with?!” Oh! Snap!
8:52 — Dang, I’m like actually sad here and not cynical.

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8:53 — Is this a breakup?!
8:56 — He just didn’t want it RIGHT THEN! He wants all of that with you Rachel. Why can’t you see?! We all see? Also, where is Jackie and Claudia?!
8:58 — Wait, why are they bringing Peter out? So she for sure didn’t pick him; is that what they are saying?! Okay, I’m def not bored anymore and def need. more. wine!
9:04 — Soooo she didn’t pick Peter …? Rachel everything going on right now is confusing America!
9:07 — Chris Harrison, there is NOTHING wrong with Peter!
9:10 — Oh snap again, she just got fiesty. You deserve Bryan. Or is it Bryan deserves you? IDK….but basically you’re showing now why you picked him.
9:15 — Peter says he feels attacked! He says he’s worked up!

The emotion is real right now! 

9:20 — Rachel saying “This is not for you” is her way of saying “I don’t think you should be The Bachelor” or is it “I don’t want you to be The Bachelor because if I can’t have you no one can” (?????)
9:25 — NOW you think you’re rushing?!
9:26 — Or in other words, “Bryan is for sure going to propose to me.” Bet you’re regretting sending Eric home now!
9:31 — Rachel’s reaction proves all she wanted was an engagement. Bryan you’re literally being chosen because Peter wouldn’t propose. You’re being chosen because she just broke up with Peter. Congratulations, you are not a winner; you’re chosen by default.

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Let’s go to Paradise already! 

 

Movie of the Week #5: Bridget Jones has a baby (and a new face!)

To my hundreds of thousands of followers, I apologize for not completing Bridget’s story sooner. But we traveled to Oklahoma City two weeks ago and this past weekend was my birthday, so I just haven’t had time to see how things end for our girl. 

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Bridget Jones’s Baby was released in September of 2016 and stars Renee Zellweger, Patrick Dempsey, and Colin Firth. Bridget is still the same, fun loving diary keeper, until she has a back-to-back one night stand with two different men …. and gets pregnant. Oh, and neither man she sleeps with is Hugh Grant because in the opening you find out he died.

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Ugh, I never in my life thought I would have to choose between Colin Firth and McDreamy! Bridge, why are you doing this to me?? (Also, we won’t talk about the elephant in the room that is Renee Zellweger’s face right? We just pretend we don’t notice the HUGE difference?).

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We’re going to just let the cat out of the bag right away: the baby is Mark’s even though the movie leads to you believe it’s McDreamy’s. Omg and McDreamy is SO McDreamy in this movie. His character is rich, funny, sweet, chivalrous, hot, and 97% compatible with Bridge according to this algorithm he invented.

mcdre   I’ll give you a moment to look at that picture right there.

While a new character was entered, one thing that has remained the same is that you’re always cheering for Bridget. I mean go girl: she shags on the 4th and then she shags another on the 11th and now she has two of the hottest men fighting over her to father her baby?

Plus you just always seem to want Bridget as a friend. Cue “Jump Around…”

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Funniest moments of the movie: Bridget’s expired dolphin saving condoms, her (first) outfit at the music festival, the Ed Sheeran cameo, and the moment when she has to tell the two men she’s pregnant and doesn’t know who the father is.

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Patrick Dempsey and Colin Firth are amazing in this film. As mentioned, I didn’t want to root against Darcy, but Patrick Dempsey’s character is so darn likable and genuine about everything in the film. Darcy is still as adorable and perfect as always, too. He tells Bridget he’s nervous the night they hook back up. There is also a really great scene between the two men where they lead the lamaze teacher to think Bridget is a surrogate and the two men are a couple having her baby.

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I did wonder for a while throughout the movie why it didn’t mention the downfall of Bridget and Mark, but you finally find out (too long into the movie in my opinion). Also, once the men find out about each other and Bridget’s uncertainty on the paternity, why didn’t they just go get a test down right then and there? Seriously, they don’t swabbed until after the baby is born.

However, those are two minor details in a movie that is a perfect conclusion to a story about one of literature and film’s most beloved characters!

Cheers to Bridget!

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“OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE HOUSE!” Big Brother Recap: POV & Eviction

Holy Big Brother!

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First off, can we just applaud me for writing a review the day after a show actually aired? #Holla! Second, it’s my birthday today so #doubleHolla!! With that being said, (spoiler!) Josh won HOH & I seriously have zero motivation to write this post; I literally want to throw my computer across the room; should I boycott CBS all week; should I start a boycott CBS hashtag? Okay, okay fine. I’m going to try really hard to get through this post without…

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So, Wednesday night.  We begin with the end of the nomination ceremony and Jess is P.I.S.S.E.D! But, I don’t really feel bad for her because if she would have just told Paul what exactly the Hex was, I seriously don’t think he would have put her and Cody up.

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I feel like a majority of this episode was dedicated to Jess and Cody breaking up. I understand how Jessica wouldn’t want Cody to be a hothead in the real world, but when he bared his soul to her? I quote: “This is why I don’t have any friends, or a girlfriend, and why I’m not close with my family.” Okay, I don’t think that was precisely what he said, but it was the most real he’s been all season.

(Oh, just realized I forgot to bring up the Mark/Josh fight; seriously so. much. happened. these two episodes how am I to cover it all? I’m on your side Mark; we’d all pop off if someone was banging pots in our face; we just couldn’t look as cute doing it in a tutu as you; also, WTF Elena? Defend your man! She sucks)

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So yeah, Jessica & Cody are fight, Josh & Mark are fighting, and Paul is sitting back controlling it all. I literally went from liking Paul to despising him in less than a week. #puppetmaster

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Last thing I’ll say about Wednesday’s episode is that the weatherman competition is ONE OF MY FAVORITES (so funny!)! Also, Paul won (boo).

Eviction Night:

Okay, so I heard BB had gotten crazy and that it would play out for us last night, but Holy. Cow! First up, shout out to Julie in her pineapple dress!

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Okay, Jessica why are you believing Paul that Cody said we wanted to keep Alex & Jason so they would eventually get you out? Oh, because Cody did say that (roll that footage!); oh no. So she’s trying to cut a deal and Paul is going around telling everyone what it is.

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Whatever, doesn’t matter because Paul uses the POV on Jason, which Jason then discusses with Kevin and Raven when Jess walks in. She sees Jason do the “timeout” symbol and Jessica loses it on Raven.

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I thought Jessica was just being super paranoid so I had to rewind and yes, Jason did tell them to stop talking because Jess entered. Insue FIGHTING! Ugh, first it’s Raven and Jessica and then something about hiding cat ears? Really ladies? Then, Paul tells Josh to “turn it up to 30” meaning Josh’s harassment of #Jody and Paul now seems to be rallying everyone in on this taunt session. I’m over it. At least Matt and Mark are not down for this, as they said in the diary room.

Yet, NO ONE stops this outlandish behavior!!! 

I don’t even care if you like Jessica or Cody, at least tell your housemates enough is enough; everyone (Jess & Cody) included is in the wrong here, has done wrong before, and now looks like a child. Josh and Paul are straight up going after Jessica & Cody just to do it; no reasons why.

I’m honestly not here for anyone in the game at this point. Well, maybe Kevin. But even he didn’t put his dad hat on to stop the madness. No one is really loyal to anyone (even Jessica was going to go against Cody), Paul is basically controlling everyone, and the insults in the house are now personal and mean. They are all the blame and CBS should be ashamed.

I really don’t want to watch at all next week because I don’t think I can make it through Josh’s reign of HOH terror. This game was royally screwed when it brought back Paul and literally handed him three weeks of safety. Think about it: we wouldn’t have the house so against two people and one person wouldn’t be mind controlling everyone else!

I have a lot to think about in regards to if I want to continue watching, but for now all my feels say …

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